Deadly Sin of the Day

Doppelgänger

So Fred Flintstone stumbles upon his identical double and comedic chaos ensues. This seems to be one of many common themes in classic cartoons. It may also have been a “Jetson’s” I’ll have to research it.

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I overhear a conversation in the next room, where someone says that they’ve found my identical double…on the Internet. My curiosity is piqued. They go on to say that they found “me” on my hometown college’s web-site.

I immediately realize just who they’re speaking of and shudder. I know this kid. He’s the university’s activity planner or some such thing. Anytime his automated mug-shot pops up on my computer screen, I literally resort to covering him with one hand while clicking my way to safety with the other. I simply cannot stand to look at him.

Do they really think that I resemble him, I think to myself? They can’t. Blah.

This trivial observation nags at me. Pop-up boy and my apparent similar appearances had honestly never occurred to me. Do I really dislike myself to this great a degree? Yours truly and I have a heart-to-heart.

I agree with myself that this strong aversion has but little to do with appearances. I know what I look like and am not completely against the whole situation. Perhaps the yeti himself has also muttered these very words.

I tell myself that this sick feeling is less about what I am, and more about what I haven’t yet become. I’m very disappointed with myself. Pop-up boy and my own life-situations are uncannily similar; we’ve both been given so many mirrored opportunities. He just so happens to have made something of himself, whereas I continue to amaze myself with my own sad apathy.

Deadly sin of the day: Envy.

-mixtape

~ by mixtape on May 11, 2007.